Why? I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. But never more so than with all the hype and great reviews and unflinching adoration and loyalty surrounding the Bourne Ultimatum. On one IMBD post one paramecium brained writer states that Ultimatum is the best movie he's seen in a looooonnnnnnnnng time. I sincerely pity this poor movie goer, as he's probably wallowed in the muck of such films as Spider Man 3 and Shrek 3.
But back to why. Why? Because these three letters could solve a lot of Hollywood's rut.
Why make the Bourne Ultimatum almost identical to the Bourne Supremacy?
Why re-use lines from the previous two movies? (i.e. "Look at what they make you give.")
Why is the CIA operative in Spain even talking to the reporter?
Why is the reporter assassinated in the open?
Why is there absolutely no one in the CIA who can string together even the tiniest iota of intelligence and deduce simple conclusions?
Why hint at a past with Julia Stiles character Nicky when it obviously doesn't fit with the first two films?
Ok, I'll stop, but I could go on for hours. This movie was such an abysmal failure, I'm ashamed of Matt Damon. For a Harvard educated writer, he should know better. There is very little causality leading to ridiculous amounts of precipitous actions, that this is one discombobulated mess of a movie. I will note that the one attempt they do give at causality is with Nicky. Why would she help Bourne? The writers give us some half-a$$ed, lame attempt at a subtle hint of a relationship that occurred between Bourne and Nicky. What? She is not a trained killer, yet she hands out the assignment to have him killed mercilessly in the Bourne Identity. She NEVER even mentions their history in the Supremacy when he has a gun to her head. It's so juvenile and moronic. It's a gimmick. And any dim-witted teenager could have come up with it.
But the action is cool. And the fight scenes are sweet. And the car chase is rad.
BUT WE SAW ALL THAT IN THE FIRST TWO MOVIES! And there were far too many holes in the Bourne Supremacy as it was.
There was no progression here. No development of characters. Luckily Damon, Joan Allen, and David Straitham are great actors, because the dialog in this movie is so cliched and self aware, it physically hurt me.
Exchanges like:
Pamela Landy: When does the killing stop?
Noah Vosen: Until we win!
Monkeys can fling their feces onto paper and create better dialog and stories. I only paid $6 but that was still too much. To anybody who reads this, don't waste your money. Just rent the Bourne Supremacy. It's way better than the ripoff that is the Bourne Ultimatum.
Oh, and one more thing: THIS MOVIE WAS AWFUL!!!
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2 comments:
I loved this movie. I loved this movie almost as much as I love the Harry Potter series. It ranks up there with sitting down with a bunch of cab drivers and sharing a bucket of coleslaw.
THIS MOVIE ROCKED.
Yeah, like you even saw it. Nice try, Pint Size, but I'm not falling for it.
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