For the past several weeks Fox has had its new reality show 'On the Lot' bringing up-and-coming directors into the limelight. Some have some innovative ideas, some are special effects wizards, some are pretty funny, and even a few have style. But what is glaringly obvious is that none of them seem to understand the heart of storytelling. And that is the major problem with Hollywood movies.
Look, we've all said it - "It wasn't a great movie, but it was fun. It was entertaining. Sometimes I just want to have mindless entertainment." Fair enough. Yes, I said it, fair enough. But porn is mindless entertainment. Quite fun too, I imagine. Films, at their very basic core, are stories. And the problem with the storytellers is that they are directors, more concerned with scenes, visual personifications, and gimmicky wow factor BS that manipulates audiences' emotions.
This is evident in 'On the Lot' when guest judges (Hollywood movie makers) critique the short films of contestants. Only Wes Craven has provided any clear insight for the young directors. Craven actually made a statement about a film where the characters lacked causality (not his exact term, but that's what he meant). While it's fun to see what these directors are able to come up with in just a week, it's also exposing how lost Hollywood really is when it comes to storytelling. And there is absolutely NO constructive criticism. It's a popularity contest. After all, Hollywood is high school with cigars.
And so, here are a few thoughts about writing and storytelling from some famous dead, nearly dead, and never dead people. Enjoy.
"Many books require no thought from those who read them, and for a very simple reason; they made no such demand upon those who wrote them."
- Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832), Lacon, 1820
(The same is true for movie makers)
"Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard."
- Daphne du Maurier (1907 - 1989)
(Directors drench their movies with their "style" and often kill the story)
"The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think."
- Edwin Schlossberg
"Please write again soon. Though my own life is filled with activity, letters encourage momentary escape into others lives and I come back to my own with greater contentment."
- Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey, A Woman of Independent Means
(This is why we love movies so much)
"It's not enough to create magic. You have to create a price for magic, too. You have to create rules."
Eric A. Burns, Gossamer Commons, 06-15-05
"Write something to suit yourself and many people will like it; write something to suit everybody and scarcely anyone will care for it."
- Jesse Stuart
(Hollywood suits always try mass appeal because it will sell more tickets, and we end up with crap)
And finally, let's end with F. Scott Fitzgerald. Why? Because it's my blog, that's why.
"Begin with an individual, and before you know it you have created a type; begin with a type, and you find you have created - nothing."
"Draw your chair up close to the edge of the precipice and I'll tell you a story."
"Find the key emotion; this may be all you need know to find your short story."
"To have something to say is a question of sleepless nights and worry and endless ratiocination of a subject - of endless trying to dig out of the essential truth, the essential justice."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Dora the (S)explorer
Ok, so fair warning to any virgin eyes or ears, and especially minds - this is not a "G"-rated cartoon blog. And a very LARGE warning to any pervs - no, this is not a review of a messed up porn movie. Granted, since I talk a lot about movies, I could see that leap. But alas, that is not what this is.
First, I do believe that there is someone out there who has reserved the right to "Dora the Sexplorer" as her stage name, should she ever choose to fully come out of her shell. However, since she still insists on teasing me with links to songs I am not allowed to listen to, she may have forfeited any right to this tantric pseudonym.
Now, for those that know me well, you may be asking yourselves, I've never known the Fat Kid to behave himself. And you would be correct, as I live my life by the very simple rule: It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. So, sing on, Supah Geek. Sing on.
First topic under the (S)exploration that is today's subject - rock climbing. For the first time since my scouting days, lo those many moons ago, I actually attempted to scale some rocks. I say attempted because Fat Kids don't go up very easily, unless it's an escalator or elevator. To make matters so much better, my rock climbing partner/teacher/embarasser, who is a foot shorter and half my size, went up twice, in impressive fashion. I was forced to voluntarily suspend my man card until I either got up the rock or build a house using nothing but mud, rocks and duct tape. Whichever comes first.
Next (s)exploration was going to the DC United game. DC won, beating Chicago 3-1. Why is this worth mentioning? Well, it's my first soccer game. And DC won.
My next first was making a pulled pork meal on Sunday for a group of about 12 people. Now, I've never made pulled pork, so this was quite an adventure. I made up my own sauce - a chipotle, coffee, molasses delight. Other firsts consisted of a potato salad and coleslaw, both of which I've never made before. The pork did take a little longer to cook than anticipated, and the flavor didn't quite match my expectations, once mixed with the sauces, it came out ok. Everyone who ate said it was good, so I will have to take their word for it.
And last but not least, the final (s)exploration of this edition of the Fat Kid Korner is Man vs. Wild on the Discovery Chanel. There are quite a few clips of this sweet show on Youtube, but they are clips of the host/survivor Bear Grylls peeing on a shirt to wrap around his head and face to keep cool in the Moab desert, or biting the head off a snake to for a light lunch. So, instead, CLICK HERE to go to the official page. This has to be the craziest SOB ever and he rules. Plus, for anyone who might be trekking up Mt. Rainier anytime soon, you could learn some valuable tips.
First, I do believe that there is someone out there who has reserved the right to "Dora the Sexplorer" as her stage name, should she ever choose to fully come out of her shell. However, since she still insists on teasing me with links to songs I am not allowed to listen to, she may have forfeited any right to this tantric pseudonym.
Now, for those that know me well, you may be asking yourselves, I've never known the Fat Kid to behave himself. And you would be correct, as I live my life by the very simple rule: It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. So, sing on, Supah Geek. Sing on.
First topic under the (S)exploration that is today's subject - rock climbing. For the first time since my scouting days, lo those many moons ago, I actually attempted to scale some rocks. I say attempted because Fat Kids don't go up very easily, unless it's an escalator or elevator. To make matters so much better, my rock climbing partner/teacher/embarasser, who is a foot shorter and half my size, went up twice, in impressive fashion. I was forced to voluntarily suspend my man card until I either got up the rock or build a house using nothing but mud, rocks and duct tape. Whichever comes first.
Next (s)exploration was going to the DC United game. DC won, beating Chicago 3-1. Why is this worth mentioning? Well, it's my first soccer game. And DC won.
My next first was making a pulled pork meal on Sunday for a group of about 12 people. Now, I've never made pulled pork, so this was quite an adventure. I made up my own sauce - a chipotle, coffee, molasses delight. Other firsts consisted of a potato salad and coleslaw, both of which I've never made before. The pork did take a little longer to cook than anticipated, and the flavor didn't quite match my expectations, once mixed with the sauces, it came out ok. Everyone who ate said it was good, so I will have to take their word for it.
And last but not least, the final (s)exploration of this edition of the Fat Kid Korner is Man vs. Wild on the Discovery Chanel. There are quite a few clips of this sweet show on Youtube, but they are clips of the host/survivor Bear Grylls peeing on a shirt to wrap around his head and face to keep cool in the Moab desert, or biting the head off a snake to for a light lunch. So, instead, CLICK HERE to go to the official page. This has to be the craziest SOB ever and he rules. Plus, for anyone who might be trekking up Mt. Rainier anytime soon, you could learn some valuable tips.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Ladies' Night at the Movies
Brad Pitt. George Clooney. Matt Damon. Al Pacino. Casey Affleck. Scott Caan. Don Cheadle. Andy Garcia. And that little Chinese dude. Eye candy for the chicks of the film going world all in the same movie. No wonder it took in $37.1 million over the weekend.
The movie is adequate. It's not great. It's funny, but only because it's very self-aware and the cast plays well off each other. Other than that, there really isn't much to this installment of Man Candy for the Lonely Housewife's Soul. The lonely housewives don't even have to feel threatened by the one female in this movie: Ellen Barkin. Her face has been so beaten by botox, half of her face doesn't even work. I think if she were to have taken a drink of something, it would have dribbled out like she had just been to the dentist. And boobs so fake that she's her own flotation device in case the airplane goes down over water.
My favorite line came when Scott Caan and Casey Affleck are trying to hack into Pacino's computer and Caan asks, "Are you in yet?" And Affleck replies, "I hate that question." In the theater, my friend and I were the only ones laughing at first, as it seemed to sail over the heads of the rest of the audience. But, they eventually caught up, and a delayed chuckle sounded. Watch the trailer below and you'll pretty much get the entire gist of the movie and hear most of the best lines.
So, the bottom line is this: you won't be disappointed you spent the money to see this in the theater. But you won't exactly feel satisfied. Like eating sugar free ice cream. The image on the carton looks like it is going to be a sweet, creamy and delightful experience. But, in the end, it's bland, nothing special, and you look at the picture on the box longing for some good ol' fat-filled Ben n' Jerry's.
The movie is adequate. It's not great. It's funny, but only because it's very self-aware and the cast plays well off each other. Other than that, there really isn't much to this installment of Man Candy for the Lonely Housewife's Soul. The lonely housewives don't even have to feel threatened by the one female in this movie: Ellen Barkin. Her face has been so beaten by botox, half of her face doesn't even work. I think if she were to have taken a drink of something, it would have dribbled out like she had just been to the dentist. And boobs so fake that she's her own flotation device in case the airplane goes down over water.
My favorite line came when Scott Caan and Casey Affleck are trying to hack into Pacino's computer and Caan asks, "Are you in yet?" And Affleck replies, "I hate that question." In the theater, my friend and I were the only ones laughing at first, as it seemed to sail over the heads of the rest of the audience. But, they eventually caught up, and a delayed chuckle sounded. Watch the trailer below and you'll pretty much get the entire gist of the movie and hear most of the best lines.
So, the bottom line is this: you won't be disappointed you spent the money to see this in the theater. But you won't exactly feel satisfied. Like eating sugar free ice cream. The image on the carton looks like it is going to be a sweet, creamy and delightful experience. But, in the end, it's bland, nothing special, and you look at the picture on the box longing for some good ol' fat-filled Ben n' Jerry's.
Friday, June 08, 2007
The Dead Girl
So, two posts in one week! I guess it's just the fact that I know my stalker is reading my posts and even commenting, so that is incentive to keep this thing alive. (my sincere, heart-felt gratitude to my #1 stalker...you know who you are)
Ok, so I watched a weird movie last night called The Dead Girl. I don't know if you've seen Crash or not, but it's similar in its non-linear story telling, told in five chapters. I won't bog you down with the summary, but click here to read it.
My general feelings on this are mixed. The characters are incredibly deep and nuanced. yet the canvas that each are given is not vast enough. And that is the ultimate crux of telling a story in this fashion. No bone ever has enough meat, so to speak. In the first chapter, Toni Collette does a fine job of bringing to life a very troubled and altogether screwed up woman, but I'm not really sure where her central conflict is supposed to lie, how she resolves it, what her over all desire is. She is a reactionary character and she is therefore superfluous (now that is a real word...Google that one).
Out of the five chapters in this movie, two are worth it. The chapter titled "The Sister" where Rose Byrne plays a young pathologist who struggles to deal with the disappearance of her sister fifteen years earlier. Her parents just won't let her go and continue their obstinate pursuit of her, which only depresses her even more. When a body she is examining has a similar birth mark as her sister, she believes it's her sister and she is actually relieved. And for a brief moment, she finds peace and normalcy and even bumps some naughties with James Franco.
The other chapter that is great is the last one, bearing the same name as the title and delves into the sad life of Brittany Murphy's character, The Dead Girl. The lead in chapter here works with this one as the mother of the dead girl, played almost perfectly by Marcia Gay Harden, seeks for answers about her daughter. My biggest problem here is that Brittany Murphy slips into a bit of a New Jersey accent when talking tough. But this story expanded and juxtaposed with the sister chapter could have been highly potent. And had the writer/director Karen Moncrieff stuck with those two, it could have been an amazing movie. One maybe even worth the Fat Kid endorsement of it "Rocks My Grandma".
But it is a tasty treat, nonetheless. Although, with the drug use, disturbing sex, and violence involving women, buyer beware. Be very ware.
Ok, so I watched a weird movie last night called The Dead Girl. I don't know if you've seen Crash or not, but it's similar in its non-linear story telling, told in five chapters. I won't bog you down with the summary, but click here to read it.
My general feelings on this are mixed. The characters are incredibly deep and nuanced. yet the canvas that each are given is not vast enough. And that is the ultimate crux of telling a story in this fashion. No bone ever has enough meat, so to speak. In the first chapter, Toni Collette does a fine job of bringing to life a very troubled and altogether screwed up woman, but I'm not really sure where her central conflict is supposed to lie, how she resolves it, what her over all desire is. She is a reactionary character and she is therefore superfluous (now that is a real word...Google that one).
Out of the five chapters in this movie, two are worth it. The chapter titled "The Sister" where Rose Byrne plays a young pathologist who struggles to deal with the disappearance of her sister fifteen years earlier. Her parents just won't let her go and continue their obstinate pursuit of her, which only depresses her even more. When a body she is examining has a similar birth mark as her sister, she believes it's her sister and she is actually relieved. And for a brief moment, she finds peace and normalcy and even bumps some naughties with James Franco.
The other chapter that is great is the last one, bearing the same name as the title and delves into the sad life of Brittany Murphy's character, The Dead Girl. The lead in chapter here works with this one as the mother of the dead girl, played almost perfectly by Marcia Gay Harden, seeks for answers about her daughter. My biggest problem here is that Brittany Murphy slips into a bit of a New Jersey accent when talking tough. But this story expanded and juxtaposed with the sister chapter could have been highly potent. And had the writer/director Karen Moncrieff stuck with those two, it could have been an amazing movie. One maybe even worth the Fat Kid endorsement of it "Rocks My Grandma".
But it is a tasty treat, nonetheless. Although, with the drug use, disturbing sex, and violence involving women, buyer beware. Be very ware.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
All Good Things
Well, it took six seasons, but The Shield has finally disappointed me. Now, there have been several times throughout the seasons that I have rolled my eyes a bit or swallowed down some distaste for a particular line or even supplemental storyline. But the last three episodes of this season were so below par for this show, I can't help but wonder if Shawn Ryan and his staff simply conceived these and wrote them as an after thought. Or, more likely, got so caught up in their 'genius' idea of Prodigal Son Shane and Vic going head to head in turmoil, vengeance and anger that they couldn't see the parabolic forest for the trees.
But here's the thing, Vic and Shane already went through this! Back a couple of seasons ago when Shane was under Antwan Mitchell's thumb, he and Vic and a reckoning.
So, Shane needs a plan and he goes to the ever familiar Armenians. The same crime family he and the Strike Team ripped off (to the tune of several million dollars) a few years ago. And who does he encounter? Franka Potente, one of the worst actresses working today, playing the grieving daughter of the Armenian mob boss. She is shy, uncertain, terrified. Fine, it works in the sense that Shane can manipulate her for his own purposes. But her sudden transformation into a cold-hearted, ruthless boss that gives the order to kill Vic and his family is so precipitous that not even Meryl Streep could have pulled it off. Let alone Potente, whom I'm sure can deliver a line in her native German, but when uttered in English, it's so devoid of thought and emotion it fails.
That coupled with Hiatt (Vic's would-be replacement as the Strike Team leader) and his sudden descent into asshole-dome (it's a word - Google it) just kill the intensity of the story as we are once again pulled out of the story by contrived writing.
The worst part of this is the real heart of the story, Vic's conflict to keep his job and the San Marcos killings and the crime and conspiracy involved, is overshadowed by the lack of focus. I understand that Shane and Vic have hit a crossroads since Vic found out that Shane killed Lem (another poorly thought out plot twist meant for more "OMG, I never saw that coming" which is the refuge of the uncreative writer).
So, Shawn, Kurt Sutter, Chiklis and the rest of the producing crew, get up off your creative asses and get back to season 1 and 2 form. This show has been too good to let it stir in the overbearing, hyperbolic acting of Forrest Whitaker from last season to the contrived, precipitous story lines and character arcs of this season.
But here's the thing, Vic and Shane already went through this! Back a couple of seasons ago when Shane was under Antwan Mitchell's thumb, he and Vic and a reckoning.
So, Shane needs a plan and he goes to the ever familiar Armenians. The same crime family he and the Strike Team ripped off (to the tune of several million dollars) a few years ago. And who does he encounter? Franka Potente, one of the worst actresses working today, playing the grieving daughter of the Armenian mob boss. She is shy, uncertain, terrified. Fine, it works in the sense that Shane can manipulate her for his own purposes. But her sudden transformation into a cold-hearted, ruthless boss that gives the order to kill Vic and his family is so precipitous that not even Meryl Streep could have pulled it off. Let alone Potente, whom I'm sure can deliver a line in her native German, but when uttered in English, it's so devoid of thought and emotion it fails.
That coupled with Hiatt (Vic's would-be replacement as the Strike Team leader) and his sudden descent into asshole-dome (it's a word - Google it) just kill the intensity of the story as we are once again pulled out of the story by contrived writing.
The worst part of this is the real heart of the story, Vic's conflict to keep his job and the San Marcos killings and the crime and conspiracy involved, is overshadowed by the lack of focus. I understand that Shane and Vic have hit a crossroads since Vic found out that Shane killed Lem (another poorly thought out plot twist meant for more "OMG, I never saw that coming" which is the refuge of the uncreative writer).
So, Shawn, Kurt Sutter, Chiklis and the rest of the producing crew, get up off your creative asses and get back to season 1 and 2 form. This show has been too good to let it stir in the overbearing, hyperbolic acting of Forrest Whitaker from last season to the contrived, precipitous story lines and character arcs of this season.
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